Beyond the Basics: Estate Planning Mistakes Part 1

Despite George’s tireless efforts, his 5 children never got along, and after moving out in pursuit of their adult lives, they rarely ever spoke to each other. So, as far as George was concerned, any child who wanted to inherit an equal share of his sizable estate would find a way to cooperate with the others as equal co-executors after his death. 

Not a unique notion. I’ve seen countless episodes of money driving people apart, never bringing them together, and I have always successfully discouraged my own clients from attempting to apply death as a family bonding event.

There’s no harmonious way for 5 rivalrous siblings to simultaneously complete the necessary tasks of estate administration: file the Will, petition the probate court, inventory the estate, appraise assets, establish probate accounts, transfer car titles, obtain taxpayer ID numbers, establish a trust and a probate estate, hold an estate sale for furniture and personal effects, notify creditors, pay debts and final expenses, file the final tax return, sell property, transfer titles, and eventually distribute the proceeds.

Much worse, however, were the never-ending conflicts that simply fueled sibling resentment at every corner. The youngest child with an immediate financial need wanted an “advance” on her inheritance. The oldest child wanted Mom’s wedding ring. The children who volunteered to hold the estate sale were harshly criticized for the price they received for emotionally over-valued family heirlooms. One child in California wanted reimbursement for her flight and hotel expenses for travelling to attend the funeral in Florida. One child insisted on waiting until a “seller’s market” to list the house for sale.

And then, there was the long-time caregiver who insisted that George verbally promised to leave her $10,000; which wasn’t reflected anywhere in a written document, and frankly should be banned by elder abuse laws.

My advice: Nothing palatable results from having five chefs in the kitchen, all stirring the pot
and each adding his own ingredients. Hold a family meeting and try to get the children to
unanimously vote for one child as administrator. Then give that child an easy escape route by
designating your attorney as the Alternate.

Author: Michael T. Koenig, CFP®, J.M., the Founding Partner of FirsTrust, LLC, candidly shares his experience as a financial advisor to advocate truth and transparency for financial service consumers. His education and experience includes a bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Maryland, a master’s certificate in finance from George Washington University, a Juris Master of Law degree from Florida State University College of Law, the CFP® Certified Financial Planner™ professional designation, and over 35 years of experience as a professional financial advisor.